Network of Hate!

I hate networks.

I hate routers.

I hate wireless receivers.

I hate 15 metre ethernet cables.

I hate filters.

I hate them all.

This hatred is not unfounded. It does not simply stem from the fact that I spend a goodly amount of my time at work patiently explaining the function of a router and what a wireless network is. (Took me 20 minutes to explain the difference between 802.11g and 802.11N the other day, although I only have a very vague conceptual idea of the latter...although if Mariah Carey can incorporate it into her Touch My Body video clip it can't be that hard, right?!)

Mostly, the hatred stems from a long history of drop-outs with the stupid piece of plastic crap that I call a D-Link router and the equally crap piece of plastic that I call a USB receiver (which has recently failed. Thus, the 15 metres of ethernet cable trailing all over my house.)

Plus the hours of fixing and twiddling and pinging and ooooooh how I hate that HP Pavilion downstairs...I can't explain why, but whenever something (else) goes wrong with it I fly into a homicidal rage. Which isn't really fair on my father, who generally has to put up with (a) his computer failing and (b) his daughter screaming at an inanimate object and cursing HP in non-too-polite terms.

Also, as I keep pointedly reminding my dad, I AM NOT A COMPUTER TECHNICIAN.

In fact, I suck. Every time something goes wrong I have to go through a process of trial and error based on the most likely issues with it...and at each point of failure my rage grows and grows until the urge to smash the computer is almost overwhelming.

On the upside, I have managed to fix it.

Tonight it was some kind of firewall problem.

Add that to the list:

I also hate firewalls.

That's all my venting today. Carry on surfing on your respective networks...

The Trouble With FPS

You may have heard me whine a lot on this blog about how much I suck at FPS.

Now, here is further proof!

I had a spare hour today to start Rainbow Six Vegas on my 360. I know it's a shooter so I probably shouldn't have bought it, but it was only $25 and hey, you blow up shit in a casino. Who hasn't ever wanted to leap onto the blackjack tables at Crown with an AK-47?

Anyway...here I was, happily trotting into a Mexican alleyway with my very large gun, when I reach a doorway. It happens to be one of the doorways that I can't open, since at this point in the tutorial I have not learnt the dubious joys of Snake Cam- but thinking this is Gears of War, I try to smash the door down with one meaty fist.

Except this does nothing. This is not Gears of War.

So I press the pretty little circle button on my controller.

A merry tinkling sound ensues as a teeny little round grenade thing drops at my feet.

Daphne has two seconds to go, "Oh...shit," before the grenade explodes in spectacular fashion at my feet and the whole world goes red.

Game over.

Whoops.